The Medicated

My Story

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At the age of ten, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and put on medication, a decision that would impact every aspect of my life in the years to come. By the time I was old enough to understand the root causes of my diagnosis (circumstantial, not a chemical imbalance) and reject this approach, the damage was done; I no longer knew how to function without medication. I tried getting off meds more times than I can remember, but as a young adult obsessed with my academic and later professional performance, there was just never a good time readjust to life on life's terms. Thus, my twenties were a whirlwind of antidepressants, prescription stimulants, and recreational drugs.

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At age 31, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My ensuing journey of recovery and "getting healthy" led me to a gifted integrative health doctor who finally helped me get off psych meds using natural supplements. I was antidepressant-free for a year and a half, during which time I experienced a profound spiritual awakening that reframed my entire worldview. Unfortunately, letting go of recreational drugs was not as easy... Long story short, my life was forever changed when my spiritual awakening blossomed into full-blown drug-induced psychosis, catapulting me back into the world of psych meds, only at an even more intensive level.

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My Purpose

 

I have now been hearing voices (and largely medicated with antipsychotics) since 2016. While much of what I hear is just mental chatter, it is my firm belief that I also receive a good deal of genuine insight, and that I may be "clairaudient," intuitively receiving information from beyond our physical realm. Of course, in technical terms, a doctor would classify this assertion as a textbook "delusion of grandeur." Herein lies the psychological crux of my existential crisis, and the foundation of this blog.

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As our world is undergoing a momentous period of exponential spiritual expansion, stories like mine are becoming more and more common. My purpose here is to document and explore my own personal journey as I navigate the shadowy intersection of mysticism, madness, and medication, in the hopes of sharing understanding, humor, and inspiration with fellow travelers. Welcome aboard!