It's happening.

Overall, today has been a very good day. These beings tell me (and I partially remember/sense) that they were working on me all night (in a good way). Perhaps because of this, my head has been blessedly quiet and peaceful today, my mood has lifted, and I am feeling more effective. This is doubly impressive because I woke up to a wave of anxiety about not having more of our New Zealand trip nailed down yet - to the point that I started whimpering. I haven't felt like that in some time (and thank god), but it spooked me, because I knew I was planning to work with these beings this morning before I had anything to drink. However, once I was up and realized they were treating me differently today (kinder, more respectful), it was easy to hold off and make time for that.

Proactively diving into collaborating with these beings today was my shaman's idea. She thought it would strengthen the positive aspects of our relationship and kind of unplug me from the lower-vibrational energies - or I could even ask for protection. Well, I did not get a chance to ask; the woman who spoke to me this morning told me that she was / they are holding the others off of me. My understanding is that my commitment to working with them facilitated or inspired this change. The conversation was not long. Despite Dani's sense that I should be able to act as a channel in some capacity immediately (provided it isn't after a long day of drinking), these beings reaffirmed that I am not yet ready/able to act as a channel for them (which they say is because of the "vibrational interference" of the psych meds I take). This was not communicated in a judgmental way, just as a matter of fact. Once that was established, I don't remember us speaking of much otherwise. Knowing me, I may have been quick to "get off the phone" and put some music on, because when things are going well, I know it can only take minutes for the other shoe to drop (not just with these beings, but with anyone or anything that communicates with me in my head).

Since then, I only had three drinks today (which hasn't happened in a couple weeks, I think), and I am allowing myself to have one more now. I was uncertain about this, but I felt that same wash of resistance as we were sitting down to write, and when I thought about having a drink, like I tried the other night when writing, they told me that drinking when I'm writing is different. I am using it as a tool, with intention, to cultivate a desired (relaxed) state of consciousness. Moreover, because writing raises my vibration, it offsets the downward pull of the alcohol (as long as it's not consumed in quantity). Once again, I feel that it is easy and effective.

On top of that, despite my anxiety this morning, we made huge progress on the upcoming New Zealand trip, which has eased my mind considerably. It is the jigsaw effect: the edges are all in place. Now all we have to do is piece together the middle. They tell me repeatedly that this trip is going to change our lives and empower our relationship. They have also made overtures about various mind-blowing experiences that could take place in the course of those fifteen days. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I definitely feel myself hanging my hat on this. It's like a balm to all of my turmoil and uncertainty. So far, everything is working out swimmingly - 12345! And tonight, I had the BRILLIANT idea that if we really want to move there, even temporarily, the way to do it is to expand our HELOC, get this place up to speed, then rent it out long-term. Then we would have passive income coming in that would pay our way in New Zealand - where the dollar goes even further! Holy cow, does it get any better than that?

The reason (well, one of several) that I want to document this phase of my life in daily detail is because I know I am launching into a trajectory that will give those closest to me whiplash from the force of my transformation. Growing up, I was obsessed with fantasy novels (still am), and everyone knows the real magic begins when you are contacted by beings beyond your realm of experience, who let you know that you have a job to do, a mission, a purpose, a destiny. And apparently mine has been in the making for longer than I care to know. But the important part is, it's here. It's happening. At last. Slack tide has passed, and everything is about to change. And while progress is never a linear path (more like a spiral), so there are sure to be dips and valleys ahead, one thing I know for certain is that things cannot just go back to the way they have been. And for that, I am unspeakably grateful.